By: A.M. Garrison
The TKINK Brand asks you to truly think about kink as it relates to human connection, communication, healing, acceptance of others, and mutual respect.
Sex is good. But great sex can be incredible, potentially life-changing. Introducing new toys, tools, and concepts into your sexual encounters is a great way to expand on more ways to feel marvelous.
Remember, kink play is a group sport, and requires teamwork between you and your partner(s). No matter how raunchy you intend to get in the bedroom, it is important to practice risk-aware consensual kink, meaning both parties have made it clear that they are fully consenting in the sexual activity taking place.
Here’s how to make the experience as wonderful as possible for your partner while exploring your sexual desires :
- Communication: Openly talk about what you like and don’t like, share what you are and aren’t comfortable with, draw boundaries, share fantasies. Don’t just try something without discussing it first. Consent is the most important aspect of group kink play. Nothing is in play until it is communicated fully, and consented to.
- Security: Make sure your partner feels safe and comfortable with you. Find ways to communicate that you care about them even when you are spanking them repeatedly.
- Safe Words: create a “safe word” to use as a code for when you or your partner need breaks, check-ins, or to stop completely. When a safe word is spoken you are to immediately drop the circumstances of the role play situation and check in on your partner’s well-being. Your safe words can be anything from “Carrots” to “Danny DeVito”. Have fun with it.
- Research: Hit the books and internet, ask your kinky friends, and yes, go hit those local sex clubs. You’ll get to learn about some new approaches to sexual pleasure that pique your interest. See how your partner feels about trying them. If you and your partner come across the topics of anal play and nipple clamps separately and excitedly, it’s time to come together, talk, and give it a shot. Try and make your experience unique to you and your partner. Don’t feel obligated to follow a certain template of how to do things.
- Open Exploration: Use your imagination. Be receptive and open-minded to what excites your partner. Be ready to try new things for your partner (with your boundaries in mind, of course) and dedicate yourself to making sure they feel good. Pegging, getting tied up, and being locked in cages might not be your thing… but if your partner loves it, tie them up or find someone who would, toss them in a cage, and peg them silly. Maybe you’ll want a turn next…
- Self-Assessment: No matter who you have sex with, your relationship with your sexuality is yours and yours alone. Be sure to check in with yourself and how you’re feeling. How was your last experience? What do you want in the future? Do you want more? Do you want to try something new? Do you want to stop? Be aware of your feelings so that you can always communicate them to your partner.
Ultimately, sexual exploration is a way to enjoy yourself, feel satisfaction, and get thrilled by new sensations, so have fun with it. Foundationally, this way of relating to others is easier when built on the key components listed above. These steps assure us that we are building healthy relationships with sex and sexuality, and not building on undesired or traumatic connections with sexual experiences. Your sexuality is an ongoing conversation that you need to have with yourself. Enjoy yourself, and tkink.
TKINK / Kink Makes You Think